A New Willow 1of1 Series BTS s4 p2
by spikeme4now
Summary: A behind the scenes take on what happened in the season 4 episode A New Man


Title:A NEW WILLOW   
Series: S4 Behind The Scenes   
Author: spikeme4now4200  
Email: spikeme4now4200@yahoo.com.au  
  
Copyright:October 22 2002  
Spoilers:Season 4 episode "A New Man" forms the background of this fic.  
Also has a brief reference to events from previous episode "Doomed".  
Rating:PG-13  
Pairing:Willow/Tara  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own any of these characters. I don't wish to harm them, I simply want to borrow them and have a little bit of fun with them.  
  
Feedback: Yes Please!  
Distribution: Everywhere and Anywhere, just let me know where.  
  
Summary: A behind the scenes take on what happened between Willow and Tara during the Season 4 episode A New Man.  
  
Author's Notes:This is in response to the challenge I posted a few weeks ago. I thought it would be cool to remember how the Willow/Tara relationship first started. This is the second in a series of 9 behind-the-scenes stories that deal with the start of the W/T relationship. The series will start with the episode "Hush" and end with the episode "New Moon Rising." Each story can be read as a standalone, and goes behind the scenes of one episode. I'll try to have one up every week or two.  
  
***  
  
Willow and Xander bolted away from the mausoleum, leaving Giles to wallow in silence. Neither of them said anything, but they were both feeling a little bit guilty over the whole situation. Giles should have been told about the initiative, about Riley and even about Professor Walsh. Yet, why was it their responsibility to tell him? Shouldn't Buffy have said something? He was her watcher, not theirs. . . Deep in their thoughts, they walked away from the cemetery in silence.   
  
As they neared her dorm, Willow found her thoughts once again drifting towards the blonde girl she'd met earlier that week. She'd been thinking about her a lot lately. She really wanted to see her again. She'd been planning to call her every day this week, but other things had gotten in the way.   
  
First there was that Porter Dorm party after the quake. Percy had called her a nerd . . . and she'd found that body . . . and then the impending Apocalypse. Although, to be fair, she couldn't have called Tara that day regardless. . . She'd just seen her that morning and gotten her number. It would have seemed too eager or something. . . And then it was recovery time at Xander's, with Spike and his weird demon-killing mood. Then there was Buffy's surprise birthday party to plan and . . .Willow suddenly realised that right now there was nothing stopping her. Well okay. . . it was after 9:00pm, bordering on late in some circles, but they were in college . . . and late nights tended to go with the whole college experience. . . didn't they?  
  
Willow's mind was in babble mode. Her thoughts were so focused on Tara and seeing her again that she hadn't realised that they'd stopped walking. They'd finally reached her dorm room, and Xander was trying to get Willow's attention.  
  
"Earth to Willow!" Xander chanted for like the 3rd time.  
  
"Huh?" Willow said absentmindedly. "Did you say something?"  
  
"Will, are you okay?" Xander asked in concern? "You seem kinda, you know. . . not here."  
  
"Oh." Willow realised what she'd done. "I guess I was just worried about Giles . . ." She covered.  
  
"Well, he's a big-boy, he can take care of himself." Xander replied. "Besides, he's Buffy's watcher not ours. She should've been the one to tell him anyway."  
  
"I guess. . ." Willow replied, desperately wanting to call Tara. "So I'll see you later?"  
  
"Okay." Xander agreed, giving her a smile before heading off to see Anya.  
  
Willow opened the door and walked towards the phone. Upon reaching said object, she simply stared at it. There was nothing stopping her from calling her new friend. . . Nothing that is except for the knot in her stomach, the erratic beating in her chest, and the sudden dry-mouth syndrome she seemed to have contracted. What would she say to her? Could she even get the words out properly? Why was she so nervous? That thought confused her the most. She was simply going to call a new friend to do a spell. . . What was so nerve-racking about that? She'd never been this nervous calling Buffy, or Xander, or anyone else for that matter.   
  
"She's just a new friend!" Willow whispered to herself. "So call her already!"   
  
Willow picked up the phone, and quickly dialled the number she'd somehow managed to memorise.  
  
***  
  
Tara was sitting on her bed, trying to focus on the text book in front of her. Her attempt at studying however, was getting her nowhere. Ever since she'd met Willow her brain refused to think about anything else. All she could think about were those enchanting green eyes, that heartwarming smile, the softness of her hands as they'd touched for the first time . . . She sighed at that, wondering if she'd ever hear from her again.  
  
It had been almost a week since Willow had said she'd call. Why hadn't she? Tara had been glued to the phone all week. In fact, she'd even rushed home every day after class to check her machine for messages. Each time she'd been disappointed. Had she done something wrong? Had she misinterpreted the situation? Was Willow just being polite when she'd asked to call her? Maybe "she" should call "her". . ? Then again, maybe not. She wouldn't know what to say, and Willow obviously didn't want to see her again, or she'd have called by now. . . Right? Tara sighed again as she snuck yet another glance at her phone, practically willing it to ring.  
  
RING RING  
  
Tara jumped. Her phone was ringing, she almost couldn't believe her ears.  
  
RING RING  
  
There it went again. It was as if she'd managed it by pure will. . . Yet she knew that was impossible. Could it be Willow?  
  
RING RING  
  
She was almost afraid to find out. Nevertheless she got off the bed and picked up the receiver, taking a deep breath before answering.  
  
"Hello?" She breathed nervously into the phone.  
  
"Hi. . .Tara?" Came Willow's voice from the other end.  
  
"Willow?" Tara asked breathlessly, not quite ready to believe it was really her.  
  
"Yeah. . . um. . . Hi!" Willow struggled for words. She suddenly realised it had taken Tara a while to actually answer the phone. Had she been busy. . . or asleep. . . or busy with someone. . . ?   
  
"I'm not um, interrupting you or anything am I?" Willow asked nervously. " Cause if you were ah, sleeping. . . or um, something. . . I could, ah, you know. . . call back later. . ."  
  
"N..no, no." Tara stammered, wanting to reassure her. "I was just r..reading."  
  
"Oh," Willow sighed into the phone. "Good." She paused, racking her brain for words. "I was just, um thinking. . . that ah, if you wanted to. . . maybe we could um. . . do a spell. . . that is if your not busy or anything. . ?"  
  
Tara couldn't believe her ears. Willow want to see her. . . She wanted to do a spell. Had she heard right? Tara couldn't move, could barely breathe, she was completely stunned.  
  
Willow waited anxiously for an answer. When none was forthcoming, she started to get nervous. "Um. . . Tara? You still there?" She asked.  
  
Willow's voice snapped the blonde girl out of her reverie. "Oh, sorry, I uh. . .dropped something." Tara covered quickly. "I'd um. . . I'd love to g..get together"  
  
Willow sighed in relief. "Cool, I'll be there soon."  
  
"Okay," Tara whispered quietly into the phone.  
  
"Great!" Willow replied as she hung up.  
  
Tara stared at the phone for a long time before hanging up. She still couldn't believe Willow had called. She was suddenly very nervous. Willow was coming here. . . to her room. Oh wow, she could barely breathe. She got up and checked herself in the mirror. Her hair was messy, as usual. She picked up a brush and started working out some of the tangles. She wanted to be presentable when Willow came. Her heart skipped a beat at that thought. She still couldn't believe Willow was actually coming to her room.   
  
***  
  
After she hung up the phone, Willow looked around the room for a spell idea. She noticed the solitary rose in the vase next to her bed. She had bought it earlier that day, for the simple reason that it had caught her eye. She liked flowers, and would often buy them to decorate their dorm with. Looking at the rose some more, she realised it would be perfect for a synchronicity spell. She walked over and plucked it out of the vase, shaking the excess water off it's stem. She then took a deep breath and headed out.  
  
Willow now stood outside Tara's dorm room, the rose in her hand. She couldn't wait to see the blonde witch again, yet she hesitated at the door. All she had to do was reach out a hand and knock, but for some reason she was glued to the spot. Why did she feel like a whole herd of butterflies had nested in her stomach? She was just meeting a new friend. . . a fellow witch. There was nothing to be nervous about, she told herself. Nothing at all. . . Taking a deep breath, Willow finally rapped her knuckles on the door.  
  
After a moment, Tara opened the door. She smiled as she caught sight of Willow. Willow smiled back.  
  
"Hey!" They both said together, laughing nervously.  
  
Tara gestured for Willow to come in, and Willow complied. She'd been caught off guard by her reaction to Tara. As soon as the girl had opened the door, Willow's breath had caught in her throat. Tara's smile had floored her, and that had confused her. Why should Tara's smile have this effect on her? In all fairness, Tara had the most beautiful smile she'd ever seen. . . but it was just a smile. . . from a girl no less. She'd never reacted like this when Buffy smiled at her. . . so why was she reacting this way to Tara? Actually, she knew why. . . she just wasn't ready to acknowledge the reason to herself. . . not yet anyway.  
  
Willow stopped her thoughts as Tara closed the door behind her. She decided to take a moment and look around the room. Tara's room was dimly lit she noticed. Her walls were dark, and the Christmas lights were pretty. She instantly decided she liked it. There was a mystical essence to it, and the hint of sandalwood and sage made her feel right at home. She just loved the smell of sage.  
  
"I. . . I like your room," Willow said softly as she caught Tara's eye. "It's very mystical."  
  
"Thanks," Tara replied shyly, finally meeting her gaze. She couldn't take her eyes of Willow. When she'd seen Willow at the door, her heart had stopped. She couldn't help thinking how beautiful Willow looked. . . And now, looking into her eyes, she knew she was lost. She'd never fallen this hard, or this fast for anyone in her entire life. She'd only just met the girl, she didn't know anything about her, yet the connection she felt was strong. She could see her energy. . . it was pure, and it glowed in a way that completely enchanted her. Finally breaking her gaze, Tara returned to the floor where she'd started the star. The four pointed star helped to channel energy, so Tara had decided to be useful while waiting for Willow to arrive.  
  
Willow looked down where Tara knelt, quickly realising what the girl was doing. She couldn't help but smile at the girl's foresight.   
  
"I'm glad you wanted to get together. . . " Willow said softly, joining Tara on the floor. "I know it's late."  
  
"I . . Thanks. . . ." Tara returned. She finished the star before raising her eyes to Willow. "I'm. . . I was happy you called."  
  
Willow couldn't take her eyes off Tara as she spoke. Her heart skipped a beat at her words. She was happy I called. . . She's so sweet. . . Willow smiled at that thought.  
  
"We'll start out slow," the redhead said softly, placing the rose on the star.  
  
"Okay," whispered Tara. She moved out of her kneeling position to sit cross-legged opposite Willow.  
  
Willow still couldn't take her eyes off the blonde, lost in the moment. She reached her hands towards the girl, eagerly anticipating her touch. In turn, Tara closed her eyes and reached for Willow. As soon as their hands joined, Willow let her eyes close, enjoying the sensation. Tara's hands were so soft and smooth, and as they joined with hers, they let out this wonderful tingling sensation. She could feel Tara's energy . . . it was powerful, and gentle at the same time. . . just like Tara herself. Willow focused her own energy, letting it link with Tara's.  
  
"Willow?" Tara questioned. She was enjoying the sensation of their linked hands. . . their joining energy, but something was niggling at her.  
  
"Yeah?" Willow whispered, still focusing.  
  
"Start out slow doing what?" Tara opened her eyes.  
  
Realising what she'd done, Willow opened her eyes as well.   
  
"Oh," she whispered quietly, smiling as she released Tara's hands.  
  
"We're gonna float the rose." Willow explained, letting her eyes meet Tara's. "Then use the magicks, to pluck the petals off. . . one at a time."   
  
The soft and flirtatious undertone in her own voice surprised Willow. She wasn't doing it on purpose, but it was as if she couldn't help herself. . . She was enthralled by Tara's response, unable to break eye contact. The girl had been looking at her intently, and now smiled briefly at her words. . . Willow simply loved her smile. . .  
  
"It's a test of synchronicity," Willow continued. "Our minds have to be perfectly attuned, to work as a single delicate implement." She smiled slightly as she finished her speech.  
  
Tara had never in her entire life been this affected by mere words. She'd become completely aroused by the way Willow was talking, by what she was saying. Willow's voice was so very soft. . . and sexy . . . and ooh. . .Tara felt like she was going to melt. Willow wanted their minds to join . . . to work as a single delicate implement. . . even the words were sexy. . .   
  
"Cool," was all Tara could manage, smiling as she reached for Willow's hands.  
  
Willow returned the smile, reaching for Tara.  
  
"And it should be very pretty," Willow added.   
  
Joining their hands, Willow smiled and closed her eyes. Once again they focused their energy, letting it flow and connect. As their energy merged, the witches directed their will towards the rose. The four pointed star lit up between them, and a sudden breeze swept through the room. The girls continued focusing on the rose, willing it to rise. The rose started to twitch, before it slowly began to rise. The two witches could sense the movement, increasing their concentration. When the rose had risen higher than their joined hands, Willow slowly opened her eyes and turned to look at the flower. Tara immediately followed suit, sensing Willow's actions.  
  
Tara didn't know what to think, she was a little in shock. The spell had actually worked. . . they'd managed to synchronise their thoughts and energies on their very first try. It was amazing. She'd never been able to connect this completely with anyone, especially not this quickly.  
  
Willow smiled as she looked at the rose, slowly releasing Tara's hands. This was incredible. . . She couldn't believe how easy it had been to join her energy with Tara's. It was as if they were one person, working with one will, amazing. She thought briefly about Amy and Michael, realising that she'd never connected this intensely with any other witch. There was something very special between her and Tara . . .   
  
"It worked," Tara let out softly, bringing Willow out of her thoughts.  
  
"Now for the hard part," Willow whispered, eager to continue. "The petals."  
  
They began to focus again, when all of a sudden they felt the cold rush of dark magicks. The rose shot upwards, zooming towards the ceiling. The two witches stood up in surprise, watching as the flower began to bounce off the walls. They were forced to duck as the rose finally landed on the four pointed star. It was smoking and without petals. Willow was shocked. She had no idea what had just happened.  
  
"What the heck was that?" She asked Tara.  
  
"I don't know," the girl replied. "But, uh, the petals are off," she chuckled, pointing at the rose.  
  
Willow looked at Tara, and then smiled. The blonde was right, it was kinda funny. . . in a disturbing sort of way.  
  
"Yeah, but who did that?" Willow asked. "It couldn't have been us. . ?"  
  
"N..no!" Tara was quick to reply. "It w..wasn't us."  
  
"You're right," Willow agreed. "But did you feel that? It was. . ."  
  
"D..d..dark magicks," Tara finished.  
  
"Yeah," Willow agreed, looking deep into Tara's eyes. She loved how Tara always seemed to know what she was thinking. She still couldn't get over how quickly she connected to this girl. "I guess we shouldn't try anymore spells tonight," Willow suggested.  
  
"Yeah. . ." Tara sighed, trying to hide her disappointment. She didn't want Willow to leave yet. She wanted to spend time with her. . . talk to her, get to know her better.  
  
Willow could sense Tara's disappointment, mainly because she felt the same way. She didn't really want to leave just yet. She'd been looking forward to seeing Tara all week. . . and now that she was here, she wanted to make the most of her time.  
  
"Although. . ." Willow ventured. "If you want. . . we could, um, sit and talk for a bit. . . unless your tired or something?"  
  
Tara's heart jumped at the suggestion, a big goofy grin covering her face. She couldn't believe Willow wanted to stick around.  
  
"Sure," she replied, her smile widening. "I'd like that."  
  
Willow reached over and picked up the smouldering rose, placing it in the nearby bin. She looked around the room for the petals, but realised they must've been disintegrated.  
  
"I guess the petals really are gone," she ventured, kicking off her shoes. She moved to sit on the right side of the bed, crossing her legs to get comfortable. She then looked up at Tara and motioned for the girl to join her.  
  
Wordlessly, Tara moved towards the bed. She sat down, cross-legged facing Willow. She was nervous as hell. Here was Willow. . . the girl she'd developed an instant crush on. . . and she was alone with her, late at night. . . on her bed. The intimacy of the situation was not lost to her, but she knew it was too soon to let anything happen. . . Not that she'd do anything anyway. Tara had never been one to make the first move, she was way too insecure about herself. Besides, she didn't even know if Willow was interested in her that way. . . She probably already had a girlfriend. . . or a boyfriend. Tara suddenly realised she knew nothing about Willow's sexuality, or anything personal about her for that matter. If all Willow wanted was friendship, Tara decided she would be happy to comply. She just knew that she wanted to be a part of this girl's life. . . anyway that she could.  
  
"So, " Tara whispered shyly. "How was your w..week?"  
  
"Kinda full," Willow smiled. "That's why I, uh. . . didn't call you sooner," she felt like explaining.  
  
"Oh. . . th..that's okay. . ." Tara stammered. "I wasn't expec. . . I mean. . . I. . .d..didn't think you'd, um. . ."  
  
"You thought I wasn't gonna call?" Willow asked, marvelling at the girl's insecurity. Not that she blamed her, Willow knew she would've thought the same thing in her place. She suddenly felt really guilty for not calling the girl sooner. She knew she'd been busy, but she could've at least called to say hi or something. . .  
  
"N..no. . .I, uh. . . m..mean. . I just thought that. . ." Tara struggled for the words, embarrassed by her insecurity.  
  
"You thought I wasn't gonna call," Willow repeated, interrupting Tara. "It's okay," Willow continued, noticing how red Tara was getting "I probably would've thought the same thing."  
  
"Really?" Tara asked, quietly.  
  
"Absolutely," Willow returned, flashing her a huge grin. "It was totally my bad."  
  
"N..no bad," Tara let out. "You c..called, I'm happy. . . it's all good," Tara giggled nervously.  
  
"Well, when you put it that way. . ." Willow laughed, thinking yet again how cute this girl was. There was an adorable kind of goofiness about her that really appealed to Willow.  
  
"You w..were gonna tell me about your week. . ?" Tara continued, eager to know more about Willow .  
  
"Oh yeah, well there was that Porter Dorm party after the quake. . ." Willow began.  
  
"Wasn't there a d..dead b..body there?" Tara asked, remembering what she'd heard.  
  
"Yeah, and as usual I get to be the one who found it." Willow replied sardonically.  
  
"Y..you f..found him?" Tara asked in shock, suddenly worried about Willow.  
  
"Yeah, my friend was running late, as usual," Willow began, going into babble mode. ". . . and Percy had just called me a nerd. . .so I went to lie down in one of the bedrooms, and who should be next to me, but your friendly neighbourhood dead body,"   
  
"Wow," Tara responded. "Were you okay?" She asked in concern.  
  
"Yeah, it's not like I haven't seen a dead body before." Willow replied. "You know, growing up in Sunnydale you see a lot of weird things. You learn to deal. . . but it's still upsetting. . ."  
  
Tara smiled, marveling at how cool and collected Willow seemed. She suddenly recalled Willow mentioned something about being called a nerd. . . Willow was far from being a nerd in Tara's book. She was beautiful, sexy, self-assured and had a pure energy surrounding her.  
  
"W..Willow, I don't think you're a n..nerd," Tara said shyly, as Willow smiled at the compliment. "Who c..called you a nerd. . .?" She continued.  
  
"Yeah, that would be Percy, dumb jock," Willow replied. "I tutored him in high school, and he probably wouldn't have even graduated if it wasn't for me. . .besides, I've been dating a musician for the past 3 years, that's gotta count with the coolness points."  
  
"You're d..d..d..dating a m..musician?" Tara stuttered, her emotions doing a nosedive.  
  
"Oh, no," Willow replied quickly. "I mean. . . I was, but he left. . . and things are, you know. . .complicated. . ." Willow hated thinking about him right now. Every time she thought about him, it just reminded her of all the hurt. She'd actually managed to avoid thinking about him all week, her thoughts had been too caught up with stuff. . . mainly Tara. Now however, those thoughts had managed to return, and with them pain. She was getting better, but sometimes, out of nowhere a thought would come, and it was as if the pain was all there again. Willow hated it, she wanted so badly to feel better, to move on and stop letting him ruin her life.  
  
"Tough breakup?" Tara asked, sensing Willow's sudden change in mood. In fact, Willow's energy was starting to become erratic. Ever since she'd met Willow, she'd marvelled at how calm she was, how warm and cool and collected. She always seemed to be in control, even when those Gentlemen had been after them. Willow had been scared, but she had still been in control, like she was used to facing monsters or something. . . But now however something was wrong. Willow wasn't in control anymore, and it had something to do with her ex-boyfriend. Tara wanted to reach over and hug Willow, to apologize for making her think about him, for making her upset. She did none of that however, she simply expressed her concern.  
  
"Are you all right?" Tara asked her softly, briefly placing a concerned hand on her knee.  
  
"Oh, sorry," Willow replied, realising she'd spaced out. "It's just hard to think about. . ."  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Tara asked.  
  
"No," Willow began. "I just want to forget about it. . . but the more I try to forget, the more it hurts. " Her voice started to tremble, getting more and more erratic with each word. "And I can just feel myself losing control, getting all emotional again, cursing his name, cursing her name, thinking yet again about literally cursing them. . .and I just wish I had more control . . .and he didn't have to leave, I would've forgiven him. . ." Willow stopped her rambling, struggling to keep her emotions in check. She could barely control them. She didn't want to lose control. She was in control, she hadn't even cried in over a week, but suddenly. . . it just hurt again.   
  
Tara's heart was breaking for Willow, she could sense so much pain in her. Of their own accord, Tara's arms slowly reached for Willow, tentatively bringing her into a hug. She brought the girl's head to her shoulder, stroking her hair to soothe her. "It's okay," she whispered. "It's okay to let it out." All Tara could do was stroke Willow's hair. She simply wanted to comfort the girl, hold her close and make all her pain go away.  
  
Willow let herself take comfort in Tara's arms, letting her emotions take over. Thinking about Oz had upset her, but now she couldn't help but enjoy the feel of the arms around her, stroking her hair. She could lose herself in these arms, she realised, lose herself in tears and . . . Slowly she pulled away, afraid to let go completely. She didn't want to lose control. She'd long since come to terms with Oz's departure. In fact she'd come to realise that maybe it was for the best. So why the sudden emotion? It was like she'd stopped thinking about him to avoid the pain, but the pain was still there, and the merest mention of him had set her off. She hated herself for being so weak. She really wished she had a better handle on her emotions.  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered to Tara. "I don't know what came over me. . . I guess it still hurts to think about him."  
  
"It's okay," Tara replied softly. "I j..just hope you're all right."  
  
"Yeah, I'll be fine," Willow smiled. "I just wish I had some more control. . ."  
  
"You seem p..pretty controlled to me." Tara reassured her.  
  
"I don't know about that," Willow replied lightly. "I mean, I was almost crying on your shoulder a minute ago. . ."  
  
"You were hurt," Tara reminded her.  
  
"Yeah, but that's the surprising thing," Willow explained. "I thought I was past that. I haven't even thought about him in a long time. . . I mean, I'd realised his leaving was for the best, you know."  
  
"Yeah," Tara replied softly, her eyes never leaving Willow's. "But when you l..love someone, it's hard to be r..rational."  
  
Willow smiled at that, entranced in Tara's gaze. "You're right," she whispered. "I just wish I had a way of controlling my emotions. I mean, when I'd found him with Veruca, I almost cursed him, and after he left I tried doing this spell to have my will done. . ." She paused at that, remembering the guilt she'd felt. "Well, lets just say that the spell didn't quite work out how I wanted it to. . . what with putting my friends in danger and almost getting them killed. I'm still feeling the guilt from that little episode."  
  
"Really?" Tara asked quietly.  
  
"Yeah. And it scares me," she confided. "I don't want to hurt someone just because I'm upset."  
  
Tara continued gazing into the Willow's eyes, wanting to help her somehow. She was so moved, that all other thoughts were escaping her. All she could think about was how much pain Willow must be in, how desperately she must be trying to gain control of her emotions . . . Tara suddenly had an idea.  
  
"Willow, " Tara began.  
  
"Yeah?" Willow replied softly.  
  
"I m..might know something that c..could help you control your emotions," Tara stated.  
  
"Really?" Willow asked, suddenly intrigued. "Is it a spell or something?"  
  
"Not exactly," Tara replied. "It's just something my m..mom taught me when I first started practicing magicks. It's a way of centering yourself and your energy so that you stay focused. I've always f..found it relaxes me when I'm upset."  
  
"Wow!" Willow exclaimed. "That's exactly what I need. How do you do it?"  
  
"It's like meditating," Tara explained. "I usually do it by myself, but we c..can do it together if you like. . . that's how my m..mom first showed me." She smiled then, searching Willow's eyes for a response.  
  
"Okay," Willow whispered excitedly. "What do we do?"  
  
"Well, we need to get comfortable first," she began. "I usually l..lie down. . ."  
  
"Okay," Willow said softly. "Lets do it."  
  
Tara nodded, shyly moving up the bed next to Willow. She lay down on the right side, her heart increasing it's beat as Willow lay down on her left. She suddenly wasn't sure this was one of her best ideas. The intimacy of it might be too much for her to handle, Tara realised. What if she . . .  
  
"What next?" Willow asked, bringing Tara out of her thoughts. She was suddenly very nervous and confused. Why was her heart beating so fast? Why was Tara having this affect on her? Could she possibly be attracted to this girl . . ? Willow forced that thought out of her mind, she really wasn't ready to deal with it just yet. She gasped silently as she felt Tara's hand reaching for her own, lacing their fingers together.  
  
"We need to j..join our energy if we want to do this t..together," Tara explained nervously, forcing herself to remain calm.  
  
"Right," Willow whispered, enjoying the feel of Tara's hand in her own. "Just lead the way."  
  
"We need to relax. . . close our eyes." Tara said softly. As they relaxed, Tara continued her instruction.   
  
"Good," she whispered. "Now you need to focus and c..count backwards from 10 to 1, feeling yourself drop deeper and deeper with each number. When you r..reach 1, you should be in what's called the Alpha level of c..consciousness. This is your subconscious. . . the state between b..being awake and asleep. When you want to come out, you need to do the opposite. You simply feel yourself being lifted upwards as you count from 1 to 10. Are you ready?"  
  
"Uh huh," Willow whispered, eager to begin.  
  
"Okay, once there you should visualize drawing a pentagram for protection. . . above and below you. This repels negative energy threefold, and attracts positive energy. Afterwards, it's up to you to centre yourself and visualize something that will help keep you c..calm, and focused. "M..maybe a protective cloak," Tara suggested, pausing to take a breath. "That's what I do," she confided. "When I feel I need it, I. . . I visualise this invisible cloak around me and when I put it on I'm protected and calm. . . it's helped me a lot in the p..past. . ." She stopped again, suddenly shy about what she'd just said. She'd never revealed this to anyone in her entire life. It was a private thing she did, but for some reason it felt right to share this with Willow.   
  
"Now," Tara continued. "This is hard to do your first time, b..but with our energy joined, we should be able to do it together. . ."  
  
"Okay," Willow whispered. She closed her eyes and let herself go.  
  
As their energy merged, the two witches began the countdown, slowly descending into subconsciousness. They were lost to the world, only aware of each other, joined by some inexplicable force. They were both in Alpha level now, visualizing their protective pentagrams, feeling the energy of the other girl around them. . . Their minds were separated on their individual tasks, focused in their own level of consciousness, but the energy that connected them made them stronger, and highly aware of the emotions of the other.   
  
As Willow visualized the cloak, designing it in her mind, she could feel Tara's energy surrounding her. The cloak was her security, but Tara's energy was her comfort. Her energy was soothing her in a way she'd never thought possible. She knew that from this day onward, whenever she felt the need to feel calm or secure, she would visualize putting on this cloak and feeling Tara's energy surrounding her. This cloak would be a little piece of herself and of Tara, Willow realised. She would always remember the feel of Tara's calming energy when putting on the mystical garment.   
  
Tara was amazed, she'd done this ritual hundreds of times, but never had she been so focused, and relaxed. As she surrounded herself with her cloak, she could feel Willow's energy joining her. The feeling was incredible. It was like nothing she'd ever felt before, and suddenly the comfort she'd always sought in her cloak seemed to pale when compared with the comfort of Willow's energy. Never again would she seek comfort in the cloak alone. . . she would forever encase Willow's energy onto the item, making it more effective and powerful than ever.  
  
The seconds, minutes and hours ticked by as the two witches lost all track of time. They were content to lie there, joined by their energy, surrounded by their respective cloaks. Neither wanted to leave the protectiveness of this inner sanctum, but both knew that they couldn't stay here forever. Finally, as if with one mind, they both started counting towards 10, lifting themselves higher and higher until they were finally lifted out of Alpha level and brought back to reality. As they once again became aware of their surroundings, the two girls turned on the bed to face each other, still holding hands.  
  
"Wow!" Willow exclaimed. "That was the most amazing thing I've ever done."  
  
"M..me to," Tara returned.  
  
"Really?" Willow asked. "I thought you do it all the time."  
  
"Yeah, but it's never been this p..powerful. . ." Tara explained shyly.  
  
"Cool," Willow smiled, realising what she meant by that. "We should definitely do it again. . ."  
  
"I. . . I'd like that," Tara replied, her heart skipping a beat.  
  
Willow smiled, then suddenly caught a glance at the bedside clock. "Wow!" She exclaimed. "It's almost dawn."  
  
"Yeah?" Tara smiled.  
  
"We must've been out for hours. . ." Willow giggled. "I should go . . ." She trailed off, suddenly realising how close this girl was to her. Their faces were merely inches apart, and Willow had this surprising urge to kiss her. She forced the urge down in confusion. She was just happy, she told herself. . . grateful for what Tara had shown her.  
  
Tara simply nodded, unable to take her eyes off Willow. She'd enjoyed their time together, feeling like she'd shared something special with the girl. She wondered if Willow felt the same way, if she'd felt as connected as she did. . .  
  
"Thank you," Willow whispered, suddenly becoming serious. "I felt your energy tonight," she began nervously. "It really helped . . ." she trailed off, not knowing exactly what she wanted to say. "Anyway. . . thanks," she finished, impulsively leaning over to kiss the girl's cheek.  
  
"Your w..welcome," Tara stammered, turning red, but unable to look away. She'd been caught off guard by Willow's quick kiss. It had barely lasted a second. . . over before she even knew it had happened, but Tara knew she would never forget it. The spark of electricity she'd felt when Willow's lips had brushed against her cheek was unforgettable. She suddenly realised she'd never been happier in her entire life.  
  
Willow was almost as surprised as Tara by her actions. She didn't know what had possessed her to kiss the girl's cheek. She'd just felt so happy and grateful for what Tara had shown her, the kiss had just been her way of saying thanks. . . Looking at Tara now, Willow felt like she was a new person. She'd shared something really special with her tonight, something that had opened her mind to a whole new world of possibilities. . . With that thought, she gently unlinked their hands, moving off the bed.  
  
Tara instantly missed the contact, wanting to reach out and pull her back as she watched the girl put her shoes on. She was reluctant to have the night end, but knew it was inevitable. It was almost 5:00am and she had classes . . . She needed to get some sleep, but realised that was highly unlikely. She'd probably spend the rest of the night lying in bed, thinking about Willow and what had just happened.  
  
"I guess, I'll be off then," Willow ventured reluctantly. "I should probably try and get some sleep. . ."  
  
"Okay," Tara whispered softly, getting up to stand next to Willow. "I...I'll see you soon?" She asked expectantly.  
  
"Absolutely," Willow replied, suddenly unable to move. She met Tara's gaze, smiling at the girl. This night had been unbelievable. The way they'd connected during the ritual had made her feel. . .What? The implications of what had begun between them scared her. The calm she'd felt as Tara's energy had surrounded her was complete. There was no pain there, no hurt or sadness, only peace and happiness. This was definitely the beginning of something strong. . . Suddenly overcome with emotion, Willow bridged the gap between them and put her arms around Tara. She drew the girl into a quick hug. "Goodbye," she whispered before moving away.  
  
"Bye," Tara whispered back, surprised at the quick hug. All she could do was watch in silence as Willow walked out the door, a sudden realisation flooring her. She knew it was impossible. . . they'd only just met, but as she watched Willow leave, Tara suddenly realised she'd fallen in love with the girl. She was terrified, she'd never felt this way about anyone before, but there was no mistaking love. With those thoughts Tara readied herself for bed, wondering how she was going to handle being in love.  
  
THE END 


End file.
